First dates can be super exciting and can leave you with that exhilarating feeling of butterflies in the stomach. The question is: How do you hold on to that exhilarating feeling? How do you go about texting/calling after the first date without coming across too “eager.”
Firstly: it’s never a good idea to start off a potential relationship with love games and mixed signals. Neither guys nor girls want to play around with complicated texts that they need to decipher with their best friends.
There’s not exactly a one-size-fits-all answer, but it’s true. Below some pointers for navigating the text lines after a date.
1. After the Date: When Should You Text?
There isn’t a hard and fast rule about this. If the date went well and the person is keen on communicating that same night or the next day, that’s totally fine. It doesn’t come off as needy or clingy either. Moreover, the text doesn’t have to be some long, wordy rave about how wonderful last night was.
Some examples of what to say that same night or the following day are “Hey, thanks for tonight/last night” or “Hope you had as much fun as I did”. These texts are short and sweet but they get the point across that the outing was fun and it would be nice to do it again. It sets the stage for a second date.
Now, what if the date wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad? It was just an average night out with a new person. Maybe it’s a bit more difficult to read this date but there’s still potential there. The possibility of date #2 is there but whether the other party is interested remains to be seen.
This is a somewhat trickier situation but a simple text message can help to tie up loose ends. One example would be to say, “Hey, how’s your day?” This text doesn’t mention the first date but it opens up the conversation and lets the other person know that there’s still a connection there. This message can go out a day or two after the initial date.
Texting is such a low risk and pressure way of contacting someone. Most texts after a first date are pretty plain and straight forward. Make it simple so if you are the guy you can text her to make sure she got home ok. If you are the women texting him after the first date you can say, ”I had a lovely time and will talk soon.”
Okay, so what if the date was plain old bad? No need to text. No one wants to be led on that the other person had a good time when he or she really didn’t. If a week goes by with no texting, he or she will get the hint and move on to another person. No hard feelings, hopefully.
2. Who Texts First: Guy or Girl?
It’s a new day and age and the whole thing about guys taking the initiative no longer has legs. Sure, if a guy texts first, that’s fine, but the girl can totally be the first to send a message. In fact, some men might find it relieving to find a lady who makes the first move and isn’t afraid to show her true feelings.
There’s nothing wrong with the guy texting first and there’s no problem if a girl texts first. Too many people get caught up in this question when instead they could be having an engaging conversation with their date.
It’s important to note here that the first text doesn’t have to go out at a specific time. If a guy or girl texts that very same night, fine. If he or she waits a day or two, okay. Just keep in mind that waiting three or more days is risky because it gives the impression that the date was lackluster and there isn’t much promise in the relationship.
3. How Many Times Should You Text?
Another great dating question is how many times to text. This is a fantastic query because too few texts can make a person look way less interested than he or she is. On the other hand, too many texts can look desperate and stands a good chance of scaring the other person away.
So, what to do? Well, each individual couple will have to test this out for themselves. That’s right, there is no one-size-fits-all answer here either. If both people had a really good time, then why not text throughout the day? There isn’t a rule about how long to wait before texting back so if the fancy strikes, go ahead and message him or her.
It also doesn’t matter who initiates the conversation. If there’s chemistry there, go for it. Perhaps the date was average and another outing might be a good idea to get a better read on the person. Go ahead and send him or her a good afternoon text to catch up and chat a bit. Things can stay general, such as talking about movies or news. No need to delve into personal topics.
The texting might naturally go into a more intimate territory, in which case there is a deeper connection and a second date would be a wonderful idea. It’s exciting to take things from text to a phone call as long as the chemistry is there.
It’s also okay if the conversation is slow and takes time to build momentum. If it’s continuing, then at least the other person seems to have some interest. It’s completely normal if he or she takes hours or even a day to respond. Life gets busy and he or she might want to think about his or her response.
4. No sexting
You just met the person so keep your clothes on at least wait for a few dates. This is very popular and exciting to do in today’s age but you need to be careful. Things that go up on the internet will remain there almost forever.
You do not want to make a mistake that you will regret later in life.
If you both have had sex then maybe you can be more creative with sexting. I would definitely wait till you know each other enough to feel comfortable with sexting.
Go out on a date and do something different than the first date. You can’t go on a second date till someone takes the initiative to ask. Get on your phone and text them now.
Hopefully, these tips help to clear up some of the unnecessary dating drama and questions revolving around texts. The most important thing is to be genuine and let the connection happen organically. You want to make an effort if the date went well and connecting through a text is a great way to take it to the next date. Don’t go overboard on texting when you first start dating because that could easily turn them off.