We are all secretly curious about other healthy and happy relationships and wonder about their succes secrets.
Many say it’s commitment, trust, honesty… and on and on goes the long list. Yet, what we often miss in a relationship is a very small ingredient called humor. Believe it or not. It is more important than you think.
The perfect recipe
There are so many reasons why couples stay together but there’s only one reason that makes you perfect for each other.
Are you in a relationship where you feel like the ratio of conversation is 90% gags and joking with your partner, 10% actual relevant conversation?
Well, if this sounds like the dynamic that you have with your partner, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s a healthy one.
If your partner’s jokes at your expense can actually make you laugh without you being offended, science says that your relationship is definitely on the right track.
Jeffrey Hall, a researcher at the University of Kansas, conducted 39 studies involving various factors that can impact relationships.
Hall studied 15,000 people over a period of 30 years.
After three decades of analysing the finer details of relationships, he came to the conclusion that having a sense of humour was just not enough for a relationship to work. People need to find a partner that matches their sense of humour and someone who laughs at the same things that they do.
“What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction is the humour that couples create together. Playfulness between romantic partners is a crucial component in bonding and establishing relational security. Particularly shared laughter, is an important indicator of romantic attraction between potential mates,” he said.
Hall adds: “People say they want a sense of humour in a mate, but that’s a broad concept. That people think you are funny or you can make a joke out of anything is not strongly related to relationship satisfaction. What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction is the humour that couples create together.”
Hall added that if you and your partner can laugh at the same things and enjoy the same funny shows together, it reaffirms your relationship. If the two of you can laugh at each other’s idiosyncrasies without either getting offended then it’s much better.
However, the research noted one important point here that needs to be understood and that’s when to know where to draw the line.
Where do you draw a line?
Basically, don’t be the type of person that says “it’s just a joke” as an excuse for being a verbally abusive idiot.
“Having an aggressive sense of humour is a bad sign for the relationship in general, but it is worse if the style of humour is used in the relationship. If you think your partner tells mean-spirited jokes, then it’s likely you’ve seen that firsthand in your relationship,” he added.
All in all, keep those laughs coming at the expense of your partner but be nice about it.