Usually, you meet someone to whom you’re attracted, start seeing him or her, and then ask yourself, “Is this the right person for me?” To be fair, these seem like legit ways to start dating, but in theory, these are not the most strategic or effective approaches when it comes to dating.
Instead, why not try an approach that is proactive. By proactive, we mean having a clear understanding of who you are and therefore the type of person you want to attract – or who is best for you long-term.
For instance, if you find yourself to have been dating rather unsuccessfully for quite some time, chances are you might want to start dabbling into the whole personality compatibility test phenomenon. In a way, everyone who has been (unsuccessfully) dating should be a bit obsessed with personality tests —and for good reason.
Personality tests and quizzes can be used for personal growth and ~learning~ more about why you function the way you do, but they can also be used in the dating game—you know, to see if you’re actually compatible with the person you are planning to date with for real.
They’re similar to horoscopes and astrology, in that they not only give people something to believe in about themselves, but provide a glimpse of why others act the way they do, too. Kind of cool, right?
So whether you’re single, in a relationship, or have a brand new Vibe crush, it may be worth taking one of these personality tests to learn more about how compatible you actually are—or, at the very least, what you should be looking for.
In Vibe, we already touch upon a few personality traits in our in depth app questionnaire. Subjects that we feel are important for you as a dater, in determining how to calculate success in a long time relationship. A few of these topics are:
Values: What are your spiritual or religious beliefs? What are your views on family and gender roles? Is that person trustworthy, dependable and a person of integrity? Is the person consistent about who he is? Do their words match with actions? Do they believe in marriage? How do they envision raising kids?
Compatibility: Do you have enough shared interest and vision for the long-term? It is important to have similar long-term vision of how you want your life to unfold as a couple. Studies have found that creating a shared vision and meaning around your relationship will result in greater relationship success and happiness. For example, if you want to buy a house close to your parents in Amsterdam but your man wants to live in Dubai, think about it. Also, most people think that compatibility means both people need to love to ski, hike, read, etc. This isn’t necessarily the case, as shared hobbies may be nice but not essential to the success of your relationship. Knowing yourself well is key to determining this factor. You have to be honest with yourself and drill down to “why” a desired trait is important. Otherwise, we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar even if the familiar is negative. For example, if you tend to be more introverted and enjoy quiet nights at home on the weekends and you seek someone who is more extroverted and who enjoys being around people and activities then, initially, this balance may be an attractive quality for you. AS LONG AS you understand that when the thrill of the initial phase ends, and you get real about the person you are with, you may end up wanting to do different activities on the weekends. This may translate into not spending much free time together. Will you be okay with this? How important is this element when you look at it from the point of view of the next 30 years of your life?
Emotional health: This is one of the most important elements to be the most accurate and important predictor of long-term success in relationships and there have been studies to back this up. We all have baggage because we all have experiences – some good and some not so good – that we bring to the table. It’s not so much what happens to us, as the saying goes, but how we respond to it.
You see, we all have the capacity to experience real love but not everyone has the capacity to love us the way we need to be loved.
View our list of 6 personality tests that have made it through the Vibe check below:
1. The Enneagram Personality Test
Okay, if you and your S.O. have the patience to spend longer than 15 minutes completing a questionnaire, the Enneagram personality test is about as in-depth as you can go. It divides you into one of nine “types” (or categories) with ultra-specific results tailored to you.
2. 16Personalities
This beautifully designed Myers-Briggs test not only reveals your personality in detail, but will help you see how similar (or different) you and your partner are. It also helps that all the outcomes are put into four different groups, so you can humble brag if you both land in the same one.
3. Nanaya
Developed by literal NASA rocket scientist Rashied Amini, the free version of this quiz follows a similar structure to Myers-Briggs, but goes deeper into things like how you approach single life, what romantic relationship types work best for you, and even which locations statistically have the most compatible people for you (by taking into account your individual career and life goals). If you’re really ready for the truth, it can also tell you whether you should break up or not…
4. FiveThirtyEight’s Personality Quiz
FiveThirtyEight’s personality quiz ranks you on things like your openness to new experiences, emotions, agreeableness, and extroversion. All key factors in determining compatibility, no?
5. The VisualDNA “Who Am I?” Quiz
This one is fun because it’s all visual and especially easy to follow…but the results are super detailed and eerily accurate. Click on the images and answer choices that speak most to you and see where the quiz takes you.
6. Co–Star App
If you want an even deeper analysis on your planetary alignments and *why* you clash when you do, check this app out. It takes astrology and horoscopes just a lil bit further than our Vibe star sign compatibility feature, for if that’s your thing.
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Personality Check 101: How To Know If You’re REALLY Compatible?
