When you have no idea what the other person is really thinking, it’s easy to assume the worst. Negative self-talk just seems to be in our DNA.

Here’s the problem with dating: You don’t usually know the other person so well. So you have no idea what they’re really thinking. If you’re at all self-conscious, it’s easy to assume the worst.

Negative self-talk hurts because it always feels true. Your thoughts may often be biased or incorrect, and you end up assuming that they are fact when in fact those are just perceptions.

Here’s how to keep your brain from sabotaging your dating life.

Compare your negative thoughts with reality

Challenge your negative self-talk by providing physical proof for and against your perception. Ask yourself if your negative thoughts have factual basis or just merely your interpretations of the matter. You need to find out if such thoughts are actually true.

Look for alternative explanations

Challenge your negative perceptions by looking for other ways that you could look at certain situations. If a girl rejects you, do not jump into conclusion that she does not like you. Maybe she is just busy talking to her friends, or perhaps she did not like how you approached her. Try looking at the positive side of things and see how you would perceive such scenarios.

Put things in perspective

Do not quickly dismiss any fault or rejection as the worst thing that could happen to you. You are probably is not as bad as you are making out to be. You can also check if there is anything good about your situation, or would it even matter in five years time.

Think with the goal in mind

Think in such a way that would make you feel good or achieve your goals. Obviously, any negative thought would only do you wrong and would not help at all. Look what you can do to solve the problem either by yourself or with the help of friends. Think of what you can learn from the situation and do it better next time.