Most of us are guilty when it comes to overthinking our first dates. Whether we read too much into a text, or think, “Did I spend dinner talking about myself too much?” or “I guess he/she’s just not that into me, he/she didn’t text back for almost two hours.”
When you feel it comes to that point, the first thing you should basically do is: Tell yourself to take it down a notch and stop overthinking! “Stop over-analyzing it,” and “Just go with it.”
But the thing is, it’s pretty much impossible not to over-analyze these days, as much as you’d like to be cool and go with the flow.
This is why it’s really important to take a “wait and see” approach when it comes to a new fling, rather than trying to over-interpret every single sign.
So how exactly do you stop overthinking your love life?
1. Quit searching for hidden meanings.
The person will either call, or won’t. He either likes you, or he doesn’t. It will all be revealed in time.
Most likely, there is no hidden meaning to the little things that happen. Putting yourself in an emotional place where you’re hanging on what they are doing and saying doesn’t change the outcome and can cause you to create a problem where there wasn’t one before.
2. Stop over-sharing with your friends.
If your default thing to do after going on a date has been to discuss it with your friends, hold off for a while. Without any input, it’s easier to have no opinion at all about what happened on your date, which can help you keep you from over-analyzing things.
This is not to say that if something terrible happened you shouldn’t vent, just that when you’re in the early “wait and see” stage of a new relationship, don’t go spilling all and start asking “Why do you think they did X?” questions.
3. Cultivate artful distractions for yourself.
Staying involved in your hobbies and interests, even when things are going great with someone new, is a really good way to avoid over-thinking what is happening. Distractions also help you practice staying in the present moment, which can help a great deal.
You might even find that you have to date several people at once to not focus on the particulars of any given one, which is a perfectly good way to distract yourself, too.
4. Take A Deep Breath, this person isn’t the last one in the desert.
I know he/she seemed great on that first date, but you have options! Don’t put all your expectations on one person. Don’t sweat it if they don’t text back.
You Did Your Best- At any given time, you’re just doing your best. Don’t beret yourself because you were nervous or said the wrong thing. Did you have fun? Did he/she have fun? That’s what’s important.
5. Next Time…
If there is a second date and he or she does text back, remember to just have fun! Give yourself a break. The right person will like you just the way you are.